Sunday, October 6, 2013

A little of my life. . . letter to an old friend

I know facebook and even my blog help make it look like life is good and sunshine and roses, but it isn’t. I mean of course not it is life.

Lil Cody’s sass. He talks back sometimes but sometimes he says things that are pretty funny that can become annoying. When he doesn’t want to go some where he insists that the place is closed.  The school cafeteria in the morning. The movie theater, what ever. He is a total city kid. When we were looking for houses last month we looked at one in the country on an over grown 2 acre property. We looked at the old run down ranch house then we were looking in the yard. There were some stairs and a platform in a tree (like the start of a tree house) and Stephanie was starting to climb it. I looked for Cody thinking he might like to climb, too. I looked all around. Back in the house, etc. I found him sitting in his seat in the van seat belt on and all. 3 minutes there and he was ready to go! Ha. But, hey how many black dudes do you see out in nature. Just kidding but really. He hates bugs and playing in the dirt. My husband (Big Cody) gets so mad that I am making him girlie. He likes to dance to the dancing shows we watch. And he likes to help me cook and do other stuff around the house. He does like to spend time in the garage with his dad but he is with me more, you know?  Jeremy has never been to Texas to see him.  He got to see him when we were on vacation this July. He met me, my kids and Jeaniece and her boys in LA and we walked around. He bought the kids a shirt. Lil Cody knows who he is. I just asked him who Jeremy is and he said, “He’s my real dad.” I corrected him. He is his bio dad. Jeremy still pays child support most months. He missed about 6 months. His wife still does not want to acknowledge that Cody is alive so I think he lies to her about paying support and all that. They have 4 kids. The 2 she had before and then they had 2. (Both girls.)  He only calls about every 2 or 3 months. I text him a picture or something once a month so he remembers to pay child support. Ha.  We have tried to get him to just let Cody adopt lil Cody but he wont do it. So he can just keep paying. Cody has been his dad since before he was 2.

Big Cody and I met online. Seriously. A mormon dating site. As Rikkard put it the one time I met up with him after lil Cody was born, “I went from crazy to baby.” I really did. Although now I am crazy in a whole different way. A more traditional just crazy way. I am not the same. I can’t imagine what my life would look like if I didn’t get pregnant with lil Cody when I did. He really changed my life. I think he saved me from myself. 

So, big Cody had 2 girls when we got married. They were living with their mom. I moved here since his kids were with their mom and lil Cody would go with me. I transferred at the time with bank of America. Cody applied for like 7 jobs in AZ and I applied for 1 here. I got it. It was a sign. I was big on, “it’s a sign!” at the time. Probably still am.  I am also a over user of (parenthesis) and it is killing me to try not to over use them since it can be annoying and distracting. But I think I think and talk in parenthesis, too. So what evs.  Stephanie is 18 now and Mariana turned 17 in September. Last December a month before she turned 18 Stephanie moved in with us.  Cody never had her living with him so it was huge.  She is a sweet girl really helpful. No where near ready for the real world. I am trying to tough love it out of her. I need to just be nice. It is hard sometimes. I can be nice. I can be nice. I can be nice. Today is the day! Just niceness from me. All around.

I left BofA in December 2011 when I was preggers with Caden.  I had taken a step down and was a teller/personal banker. Some one stole $3000 from me; my drawer. My fault for not locking it. There were no cameras. There was no way to prove it wasn’t me. The fact my boss of 2 years actually thought I could even do something like that was so unreal to me.  When I was talking to corporate security and she was there like starring me down I just quit. Really beat them to the punch, I guess.  Then I just got a minumin paying job at a daycare where I stayed til I had Caden. Then I opened my own in-home daycare. It was fun mostly. Until it wasn’t. I stopped a month before our July vacation. Now I am a stay at home mom.  My dream job. But my husband was laid off from his high paying oil field job while we were on vacay. This new job he has doesn’t pay as much so I have to go back to work now. 2 years out of the corporate world and I have to try to get back in. I am a bit scared.  I can do it.  Be nice. Get a job. Ugh. Those things are so haaard. Ha.

I am glad you have a job you love. That is great! Why did you leave Allergan in the first place? Better opportunity or something? Were you a temp? I thought they hired you on.  Have you gone back to school? Do you want to? I think about it, but When, you know? If Cody had his other job I could have done it online I guess, but not now.

You know you said, time heals. It does. It can. I also think people can change. I mean I know I am not doing the same things I did before. I made some bad choices. I can not even imagine myself getting into the situations that would allow me to make choices like I did. I think about when my husband and I fight and how in the past I ended up cheating on my ex. That would never ever happen now. I don’t even talk to other men. Cody is my best friend. It is just hard when I am stressed. He has all the same stresses so when I talk to him about them he feels it double and gets all overwhelmed and upset with me and life. He gets so hurt when I treat him badly. He always asks if I treated Jeremy like this or blah blah. I really didn’t. I need to be nice, be nice. Be nice. Ugh. I seem to take my stress out on the ones I love the most. Poo.

Well. There was again a lot more than you thought you were gonna get. I feel like this is like a journal entry about my life and family. Maybe I will transfer it over to my other blog. Ha. But really.

I do love popcorn. Did you see the picture of my popper? It is movie popcorn every night here at Mantor Manor.  I do put frosting on ice cream so you were not far off. I am huge. I did a contest and I lost 30 pound right before vacation which was like a drop in the bucket. I was still over 200. I need to do a contest again. I felt good and went to the gymn 6 days a week. But in the past 3 months so much has happened that every thing changed and now I am off track and a junk food gal again.  I don’t really frost the popcorn because it just comes out of my popper so good. Mmm. I think I will go make some popcorn.

Your turn. Novella…

So much life in 4 ½ years, right? 

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