My Own Way

Satan. Oh, the power this one tries to have over us.  12 of Satan’s minions to every one of us at all times. Standing there telling us lies. Trying to fight us and bring us down. In this block of scriptures, specifically  2 Nephi 28 we see a lot of Satan’s power over the Lamanites and the predictions of how he will try to stir up the hearts of men to believing false doctrines and false churches.  

2 Nephi 28:5 “They deny the power of the God, the Holy one of Israel; and they say Hearken unto us, and hear ye our precepts; for behold there is no God today, for the Lord and the Redeemer hath done his work and hath given his power unto men.”  Wait, a minute. What?  How can this be? If you are of great faith you know without a doubt this is not true.  However, there are so many that do not believe they “need God.”  I have been told organized religion is for some people and they need it but not everyone needs it to have a happy life of a good moral compass.  I once bought into this.

I always had faith in God, the Eternal Father. I knew I was a child of a Heavenly parent and I lived before I came here.  I went through a time in my life where I decided I was one of those people that didn’t need a religion telling me how to live my life. God loved me, just like my mom and dad loved me. No matter the choices I was making.  How could and why would God forsake or punish me just for living my life? I wasn’t denying he existed. I just was living life and trying to find happiness. I was making my own way and choices and living life.  I thought I was happy.  I was an adult who had friends, a good job, a boyfriend, and a family who loved me and let me live my own life.  I was  living it up. All my friends were happy and fun.  I was happy, wasn’t I?

I am a person who tends to see the past in a positive light in a happier way. For me to dig deep and see the truth I have to peel away my rose colored memory glasses and see things for the rest of the way they were.  I had fun times. Tons of them for sure. I did have good friends. I had an awful terrible self esteem. I struggled with depression and self medicated with alcohol, cigarettes and other things. I was in and out of counseling. Getting doctor prescribed medications as well and interacting those with the other above mentioned vices. I was in and out of control of myself. I still prayed. I wasn’t going to cut off my Father in Heaven. I knew he still loved me.  I didn’t know the spirit had left me.  2 Nephi 28:25-26 Wo be unto him that crieth: All is well! Yea, wo be unto him that hearkeneth unto the precepts of men, and denith the power of God, and the gift of the Holy Ghost!”   Wo unto me for sure. This was not true happiness. It was not lasting. The party ended. The music stopped and I was empty. In my soul. I was missing something.  I didn’t know what it was at the time.

Flash forward 8 years. I have a relationship and knowledge of something I lacked my whole life, even being born and raised in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saint. I have a relationship with my Savior Jesus Christ. I am trying to continually learn of him and know the atonement and how it works in my life. I am far from where I want to be, but I can honestly sit here today and tell you that the happiness I feel in my heart and soul is real. It is not fleeting. As long and I stay close to Heavenly Father and continue to learn of Christ and His church I will be able to continue to have peace in my heart.

2 Nephi 28:30 “for behold, thus saith the Lord God: I will give unto the children of men line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little; and blessed are those who hearken unto my counsel, for they shall learn wisdom…”

As I get stronger in my relationship with the Lord I know that I want others to know this peace. This light that is in my heart. I want others to be able to have a knowledge of a Living God. He speaks to His children. He knows us. He loves us. He lives.